For those who may have missed this outstanding editorial:
March 12, 2006
By Dahlia Lithwick
A heads-up to those of you still fretting about the alleged evils of gay marriage: The parade has moved on. Try as you may to vote, or legislate your way out of a country that solemnizes such relationships, committed gay couples are already giving birth to, adopting and fostering children. Whether or not same-sex marriage becomes widely legal in America, same-sex parenting is a done deal.
This statement in particular goes to the heart of the matter:
The arguments for locking gay parents out of formal parenting arrangements include the familiar litany of complaints about health, morals and the sanctity of traditional marriage. But when real family court judges face real children in real family relationships, those arguments are quickly blunted by real concerns.
Despite the contorted efforts of anti-gay activists to make it all about their personal beliefs, family law is about the best interests of children – and it’s hard to argue with a straight face that children aren’t in all cases better off in stable homes with parents who love them.
The author takes to task Institute for American Values contributor Sara Butler Nardo for snippily dismissing the concept of “de facto” parenting as a “new circular definition of parenthood–a parent is a person who performs the function of a parent.” Well, exactly. As opposed to what, a person who procreates, but fails to parent? “De facto” isn’t just a nine-dollar lawyer word. It actually means something, having to do with real people in the real world.
Butler Nardo also administers the Family Scholars Blog. This is an online community populated by some actual scholars – and also a few of the most wacked out reactionaries you will ever encounter. It’s a pretty good read, if you enjoy that sort of thing. Notably, there is much fussing on this blog about every advance toward fairness for all families and children – but somehow, complete silence about this article. Maybe they just overlooked it.