Marriage: I know what it is not

Loudoun Times-Mirror
July 28, 2004
By John D. Nuzum, Leesburg

Roberta Finkelstein of the Unitarian Universalists congregation in Sterling certainly has the right to her opinion in the commentary entitled “The Great Lie and deciding who can be married” (July 14).

But for her to say the public is being told “The Great Lie” over and over again and that God ordains oppression has no basis. It is a good thing to debate the issues of our day and it is a good thing to let all sides air their thoughts and opinions.

Six Republicans joined with 43 Democrats and independent Jim Jeffords of Vermont in voting to shelve the amendment. The six Republicans were Sens. Ben Nighthorse Campbell of Colorado, Susan Collins of Maine, John McCain of Arizona, John Sununu of New Hampshire, Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island and Olympia Snow of Maine.

Prior to the vote Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) told his colleagues, “Gays and lesbians are looking at us to see whether this body (Senate) is going to brand them as inferior in American society.”

Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) urged the Senate not to shy away from the issue. “The future of our country hangs in the balance because the future of the American family hands in the balance,” he declared.

Senate supporters said they would seek another vote in the fall on the amendment or related legislation.

The proposed amendment, sponsored by Sen. Wayne Allard (R-Colo.) declares, “Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman.”

Supporters of the amendment have said they were prepared to wage a 10-year battle on this issue and that it was not going away. Right now a similar amendment is moving through the U.S. House of Representatives.

As you can tell there seems to be quite a bit of confusion about the institution of marriage, especially in America and western culture today.

The reason for a Federal Marriage Amendment is because liberal-thinking judges are trying to redefine the long-standing definition of marriage.

We have non-elected government officials being pressured by a very small liberal minority to force change on the majority through the judiciary to tamper with this ancient and universal institution we call marriage. To stop the tampering a Federal Marriage Amendment has been called for by the president.

I do know that marriage is not:

Where two people in love are allowed to commit themselves to one another. Two “committed” persons are a form of love, but it is not marriage.

Marriage is a life-long covenant between one man and one woman. We find our strengths and weakness in the marriage relationship for there are real, deep and necessary differences that exist between the sexes. It is through marriage that a man and a woman become one.

Where anything is tolerated as being “normal” for family life like “marriage” between members of the same sex, or the “marriage” of a close relative, or an adult marrying a child, or marrying your dog, or two couples or five people being married, or getting married if already married.

Society has rules about marriage for the purpose of protecting itself and especially its children. If marriage is redefined then eventually there will be no end to what it would encompass.

Think about it. When growing up my mom use to say about me, “Give him an inch and he will take a mile.”

A wise society will protect the institution of “marriage” as it has always been understood for thousands of years where a man and a woman join in permanent union to build a life together, have children and raise them in the safety of the family environment.

Where a child is deprived of having a mother and a father. Marriage is not where a child has two moms or two dads. They may care for the child but it intentionally deprives children of a loving mother and a father to influence them to be who they are meant to be.

I realize having babies is not a requirement for marriage, but marriage is where a man and a woman compliment each other in their uniqueness and raise children to propagate the family’s place in the future.

Where abnormal relationships and behaviors are justified. Marriage is not just a private affair for it is a public institution where human sexuality is responsibly regulated between one man and one woman for the purpose of pleasure and childbearing. The institution of marriage is a safeguard to protect the family, to ensure and promote the health, welfare, morality and continuity of society.

Those who want to redefine the meaning of marriage do so on the pretense that they want to broaden the benefits derived from marriage. Ultimately this could lead to eventually abolishing marriage and the family so that the benefits of marriage are lost making it a level playing field.

Then whatever turns you on goes. For example an article in the August 4-11, 2003, The Weekly Standard, written by Stanley Kurtz, “Beyond Gay Marriage,” reports on the coming popularity of something called polyamory, which he says is a word for group marriage. He writes that polyamory is on the cutting edge of family law, and is promoted by some professors at some of the nation’s leading universities. Kurtz explains that this “group marriage” movement is marching down the same trail blazed by the same-sex proponents.

One other thing that I think is interesting and is indirectly related to the subject of our culture trying to blur or redefine marriage and that is how we are also allowing the blurring of sexual identity between men and women.

According to Mike Haley author of “101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality,” writes on page 165, “You may have thought that the latest youth trends are cell phones, low-cut jeans, and tattoos, but don’t be fooled! One of the hottest fads among teen girls today is known as “bisexual chic.”

He says all you have to do is turn on your TV and you’ll see it. From Britney Spears and Madonna’s infamous kiss to beer commercials to reality dating shows like “The 5th Wheel” and “ElimiDATE,” featuring same-sex hookups among young women.”

These are America’s future leaders, influencers and mothers who will someday think about marriage. Already their thinking and actions are distorted and life is only beginning for them. According to Mike Haley, “teen magazines, music, and even clothiers like Abercrombie & Fitch promote this idea with a frenzy.”

Marriage is an institution established by God for the purpose of one man and one woman to become one flesh.

I reference Genesis 2:18, 23-24 from the New Living Translation Bible. 18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.” 23 “At last!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called `woman,’ because she was taken out of a man.” 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

God ordained marriage as one man and one woman in the Book of Genesis over 3,500 years ago. Over 2,000 years ago one of Jesus’ first miracles was at a wedding in the town of Cana in Galilee (John 2:1-12). He also spoke about marriage and divorce in Mark 10:1-12 where He references Genesis Chapter 2. I have found God’s Word to be liberating and not oppressive.

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